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Choose Justice, Allow the Satire
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  • About
  • Dogs
  • Election
  • Mo Salah Salad: Liverpool 2, Man City 0
    The guards are changing. The bells are ringing. King Salah.
    by Skyler Swellman
    Feb 23, 2025

    Step into your kitchen arena where Mo Salah’s brilliance and Liverpool’s unstoppable form this season reign supreme, while the once-mighty Cityzens face a real bummer of a decline.

    Ingredients

    • Reds Lettuce: A robust bed of fresh, crisp greens—each leaf a symbol of Liverpool’s commanding presence this season.
    • Salah-matoes: Juicy, scarlet medallions that burst with magical left-footed flavor.
    • Fading Gin Soaked Cityzens Cucumbers
    • Feta Relics: Crumbled feta like Liverpool’s rich, historic triumphs, echoing the prowess of legends past.
    • Olive Warriors: Bravely pitted olives that stand as steadfast defenders on the culinary pitch.
    • Red Pepper Sparks: Diced red bell peppers igniting the plate with the fiery passion like a 2-0 win over Manchester City.
    • Mythical Herb Medley: A dash of basil and mint.
    • Divine Victory Dressing: A potent blend of extra virgin olive oil, a squeeze of lemon, salt, and cracked pepper. The Reds are coming!

    Instructions

    1. Assemble the Arena
      Lay down a vibrant base of Dominant Reds Lettuce in your salad bowl, setting the stage for an epic culinary performance that mirrors Liverpool’s unyielding form.
    2. Summon Mo Salah’s Brilliance
      Adorn the greens with Mo Salah Tomatoes, each slice radiating the genius and flair that has defined this season’s relentless victories.
    3. Contrast with the Decline of Cityzens
      Add the Fading Cityzens Cucumbers with a touch of irony—a reminder that while once formidable, the blue-clad rivals are now a shadow of their former selves.
    4. Invoke the Legacy of the Reds
      Sprinkle crumbled feta over the salad, honoring the storied history and triumphs that continue to inspire Liverpool’s brilliance.
    5. Deploy the Olive Warriors and Red Pepper Sparks
      Like Virgil van Dijk
    6. Concoct the Divine Victory Dressing
      Like Steven Gerrard
    7. Final Toss and Serve
      Like Kenny Dalglish

    Enjoy your Mo Salah Salad—a dish as bold and triumphant as the Reds’ current reign, and a satirical, mythical tribute to the art of winning on and off the pitch!

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